I Give Myself Pep Talks.

Emotionally, i am unstable, so i don't exactly know where to begin with this. I am taking new ideas to the X-treme, lately. Some good, some bad... and my golly, my mind has been jumping off cliffs with thoughts. "I wish you had better self-esteem" and "you underestimate yourself, how much people love you, and how much people need you" was kindly told to me by a woman i love very much. The thing that really puts me in this "rut" (i guess is what i can call it) the most, is that i know when things really started going down hill. I'm not saying that that's why it has, but i feel pretty strongly its the main idea. We all make mistakes, and that one, was my biggest.


But I'm sure you'll be glad to know that this post is not going to be a fuhh my life kind of post. (It was going to be) ha ha but not anymore! I've had a change of mind, a positive one, thank goodness. I figure now that i am to the point in my life where i am confident in who i am, the kind of things i am capable of doing and have put myself out there enough to be content that I've at least tried. i'm a one girl show. (: i ride alone! It took me a few weeks, but i have made a mental list of all the things that have contributed to me deciding i'm not going to let the Class A Tools take me down! None of us should, right?!
1. what is the first thing i turn to when i am feeling down? MUSIC. You can't even tell me these songs don't make you happy. and if they don't then that's your problem!

2. The good friends. You know, the ones you can have long talks with instead of "do something". They are the ones that get me through the bad times, even if they stress me out a little haha <3

My BFF Nic (:

We can't get rid of each other... whud up, pal? hahaha

the sweetest hearted kid i know

helllooooo c money! we always have good times.

This group of girls <3

talk about a love hate relationship. you express how you love each other through mean words and actions, always a good time. haha

Robby, is my life savor. Jo Bo Po, never a dull moment with you, sweetheart.

3. The old friend of my mother's we saw at Winegars who we haven't seen since i was about 2 feet tall and he knew us because he "remembered my eyes". I was flattered and felt really good because usually people remember me by my hand. A nice change (:
4. SHOPPING. i recently sold some of my unwanted clothes at Plato's Closet and took that money to the D.I. look at what i made out of mom jeans (:

5. Lastly, if no one else likes me, at least I do. I can honestly say that i am proud of who i have become. Of course we all make mistakes, and all we can do is strive to be better... that is what repentance is for.

I know one thing absolutely for sure: i can imagine the constant attention of boys wanting to date you is nice but then what does that really say about you? you've got a nice rack to go with that ass? you'll "do stuff" with boys? you are "hot" (at least on the outside)? I could be wrong, you could have a good personality, so sorry if i am wrong. I just know that when i get those random calls or texts and any hour i know they chose to call me, not because they are horny, but because they need someone to come save them, talk to, or just want to have a genuinely good time with a friend. Friendship, to me, is the most important relationship i can have with a boy. Because a friend lasts longer than a girlfriend. I say that because i'm finally content with being the one without a boyfriend, because they can honestly call me a friend.
Obviously i think about stuff like that a lot... what?!

XO Chels